Wow! Is anyone happy?

It's funny.  When I was married I would be envious of other couples who appeared so happy together.  I found myself watching couples all the time.  I would see how they interact with one another at parties, at school functions with their kids, at various events. I would think how lucky they are to be  happy.

Now that I'm divorced I've suddenly become the "go to girl."  I cannot tell you how many people have approached me (men and women) (friends and aquaintances) to ask me, 'so, how did you do it?'  I think they mean how did I find the courage to divorce.

Let me first make it very clear, I am NOT an advocate for divorce, not by a long shot.  I am an advocate of being happy however, and whatever you need to do to become happy is your decision.

I have heard from many people who say they are just not happy with their spouse.  Many tell me they don't love them "that way" anymore.  It's funny, some of those same people are the very people I was envious of.

Appearances aren't everything.

When you have kids you put on a show. Plain and simple.  No one wants to appear unhappy with their life.  I know I certainly didn't.  Don't get me wrong, I was and am very happy. But there was always that underlying feeling that something just wasn't right.

Is this you?

What I hear over and over and OVER again from those friends who seek me out for advice is:
 'I just don't feel anything for (him/her).'
 ' We rarely sleep together'
 'We barely speak, unless it's to coordinate our kids schedules'
 'I could never leave because of the kids'
 'I'm just...not happy'

So what's happened to us?   Wow!  Is anyone happy?

Seeing is not believing

I do believe it may not be pure happiness that we are really seeing in many couples around us, but probably more than likely compatibility and complacency and the need to stay together because, well, it's what we're supposed to do.  Or the fear that single life at our age...sucks. ;)